Anxious Attachment. Without a doubt, attachment is beneficial. After all, it’s natural to want to cling on to something that brings you satisfaction and pleasure. It’s understandable that you’d be apprehensive about losing someone or something you care about.
There is, however, a thin line between good and harmful attachments. You’ve crossed into unhealthy territory when you start to feel that you’d rather let go of the important things in life in favor of this object of attachment.
One of the harmful attachment patterns is anxious attachment. Those who suffer from this ailment find it difficult to feel comfortable in their relationships.
It’s not difficult to figure out what’s causing the problem and how to fix it. This article examines the causes, symptoms, and treatments for anxious attachment.
What is the anxious attachment style?
Anxiety regarding your relationships with loved ones, such as parents, friends, and partners, is referred to as attachment anxiety. It is usually the result of childhood events. While the specific origins of nervous attachment are unknown, bad events or uneven parenting may play a role.
Secure bonds to caregivers are necessary for a child’s healthy growth. Poor connection throughout childhood can have long-term consequences. These bonds can last until age, causing problems in adult relationships.
It’s an attachment style characterized by insecurity, desertion, and unappreciation. Those who suffer from anxious preoccupied attachment disorder, also known as needy attachment disorder, are frequently classified as such. They attach to the people in their lives and are heartbroken when they depart.
How does it develop?
An anxious attachment is the result of a childhood that was insecure and unsettled. A youngster may be confused about what to anticipate from a parent or parents who are unpredictable and/or emotionally insensitive. They’ll be showering the youngster with love and attention one moment and making them feel safe the next. However, the youngster occasionally feels abandoned and uncared for.
A child’s confusion might be caused by a lack of constancy in affection, attention, and security. They don’t know what to anticipate and want for attention, affection, and safety.
As they get older, they go on with their early experiences. They have trouble putting their faith in others. They stop relying on other people.
Adult attachment types are generally believed to be divided into four categories:
- Anxious. People with this attachment type have a hard time putting their faith in others. They are afraid of being abandoned, therefore they appear clinging or needy.
- Avoidant. Problems with closeness and low emotional involvement in relationships characterize this attachment type.
- Disorganized. This personality type is characterized by a variety of actions ranging from avoidance to clinginess. People with this personality type need deep relationships yet are afraid of being wounded if they trust others.
- Secure. In partnerships, secure attachment is defined by emotions of trust and safety. Children feel comfortable and supported by their caretakers while they are young. People with this attachment pattern can build long-term connections as adults.
Signs of Anxious Attachment in Children
- Stranger anxiety.
- When away from parents, there is a great deal of sorrow.
- Crying that caretakers are unable to soothe.
- I cling to my parents and caretakers.
- Not as much exploration as other youngsters.
- Controlling negative emotions is difficult.
- Relationships with other children are strained.
Signs of Anxious Attachment in Adults
- Efforts to suffocate or force their spouse away.
- Need for constant touch and assistance from others.
- Fear of being misunderstood.
- Feeling confused about whether or not a relationship can be trusted.
- Rejection and desertion make you hypersensitive.
- Need to boost sentiments of safety.
- Possessing a negative self-perception or a low sense of self-worth.
- Possessing a favorable opinion of one’s spouse.
- Be on the lookout for signals that a relationship is drifting away.
- The anxiety of losing a mate.
- Desire to be closer to and more secure in the company of others.
How to heal anxious attachment?
- Selecting a partner with a secure attachment style and understanding whether or not your spouse’s attachment type is contributing to your attachment anxiety.
- Instead of dwelling on how you’ve been treated in the past, you decide to move forward and create new choices that support the life you desire now.
- Finding and working with a therapist who has expertise guiding people through the transition from insecure to safe attachment is essential.
- Keep track of your thoughts, feelings, and responses in a notebook.
- To have a better grasp of attachment anxiety, learn more about it.
- Recognize the folks who are most likely to make you feel anxious about attachment.
- If family difficulties are blocking you from moving on and overcoming attachment anxiety, try family counseling.