How to Ignore a Narcissist

Emotionally, being in a relationship with a narcissist may be damaging. It might be liberating to decide to separate from them.

But what happens if you don’t respond to a narcissist? There are a lot of concerns that might occur, according to specialists.
On paper, ignoring a narcissist appears to be straightforward, yet many individuals get it wrong when it comes to knowing how to ignore a narcissist properly.

You’re undoubtedly familiar with the following scenario. You remain still while the narcissist in your life abuses you once more.

Isn’t it true that you have to fight back and defend yourself?
The trouble is, the narcissist wants you to do just that so they can keep drawing you into the Narcissistic Vortex. So you decide to ignore them for a bit and respond to their texts with one-word responses.

Ignoring a Narcissist: How Most People Get It Wrong

If you’ve spent any time looking into how to ignore a narcissist, you’ve almost certainly come across the Grey Rock approach.

According to the Grey Rock approach, victims of narcissistic abuse should be like a grey rock: go about your day trying to be as uninteresting and emotionless to the narcissist as possible. If the narcissist can’t receive their ego “fix” by occupying your focus, they’ll become bored and look for attention elsewhere.

The idea is to keep speaking with the narcissist without falling into their trap: the Narcissistic Vortex, which is a never-ending loop of conflict and abuse.

If we’re just talking about theory, this should work.

After all, there’s no reason you shouldn’t begin ignoring a narcissist and only communicate with them when absolutely essential. Unfortunately, it’s not that straightforward, as with most interpersonal connection issues.

How will a narcissist react to being ignored

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source of power, they may grow agitated and strive even harder to get your attention – often in destructive or aggressive ways. Because of their fragile egos, ignoring a narcissist will infuriate them. They’ll be embarrassed, and in order to defend themselves, they’ll strike out at you.

Many women are first drawn to a narcissist’s attractiveness and appearance of power or fortune. But not all of them. If you ignore a narcissist who is attempting to date you, he will pursue you even more. While all men enjoy some level of thrill in the “chase” (due to the fact that males have twenty times more testosterone than women), for a narcissist, the pursuit is all about winning you over.

A narcissist will pursue you even harder

This is due to narcissists’ inability to accept defeat. It hurts their bloated egos too much! Ladies, beware: narcissists are notoriously difficult to resist, at least at first. They’ll entice you in with presents, flattery, and promises, but once they’ve gotten what they want (in this case, you), it’s all over.
Unfortunately, when you try to talk about your issues, you’ll be taken aback by a really narcissistic partner’s emotional coldness and lack of reciprocal interest. Because of his lack of empathy and out-of-control entitlement, being involved with a pathological narcissist will almost always lead to tragedy (i.e., unreasonable compliance with his demands by you, or even by a server in a restaurant.)

Ignoring them cuts off your source of attention and pulls you out of the immediate circle of devastation. However, continuing to ignore them isn’t easy.
It’s vital to keep in mind that they can modify their strategy and cease contacting you directly in favor of approaching you through others. This might be someone fresh asking how you’re doing or a common ‘friend’ seeking to spread the word about the narcissist.

This is known as ‘Flying Monkeys,’ and narcissists are skilled at enlisting the help of others to carry out their dirty job. The FMs are on the lookout for the narcissist, and they’re paying additional attention to them. These kinds of FM assaults are difficult to blackout, and they frequently go past your notice. To all of these inquiries, try to be nice but impartial. ‘Thank you, I’m OK.’ ‘How do you feel?’ Don’t get involved in any narcissistic discussions?

Steps to Ignoring a Narcissist Who Tries to Punish You

  1. There will be no contact. Going cold turkey is difficult, but it is the only long-term option. You must put a stop to the contact and connection. There are no openings or loopholes for messages, emails, or phone calls; they are fully eliminated.
  2. Recognize your feelings for the person you’re with. You must acknowledge that you benefit from this relationship as well. Why would you remain for so long if you didn’t have to? Like a narcotic, we desire the narcissist’s rare devotion, yet there’s never enough to satisfy us.
  3. Don’t hold it against yourself. Remember that the narcissist does not have the same range of emotions as you. When they throw insults, they’re attempting to hit you where it hurts because that’s how they’ve always gotten results. Don’t pay attention to them and don’t satisfy them. You are entitled to be treated with respect, and responding to their insults would only suffocate you further.
  4. Admit that you require assistance. You can’t do this on your own without relapsing, just like with drug and alcohol rehabilitation. One day, you’ll give in and respond to their SMS with a single word. You’ll be back in the same pattern of abuse before you realize it. To get treatment, look for a narcissistic abuse rehabilitation program and surround yourself with individuals who will support you.
  5. Recognize your own limitations. You might not be able to entirely shut away the narcissist in your life if they are a coworker or a coparent. Only in these circumstances is it appropriate to use the Gray Rock approach or limited touch. Only give simple replies when absolutely essential, such as one-word responses, times, and dates. To avoid the narcissist’s hoovering and your own relapse, you’ll need a strategy.

Expect that they will try to manipulate you to get you back

As a result, they’ll most likely try to influence you in a unique way by acting in ways that aren’t typical of them. They produce “acts” that are gentle and caring, demonstrating love and respect. Plan C is in order if this fails. They may weep bitterly and swear to turn over a new leaf, tugging at your emotions. This is a deception.
Plan D will be launched if this fails to get traction. They’ll be deliciously charming, just like when you first fell in love with them! They’ll tell you everything they miss about you, the activities you used to do together, everything they admire about you, and all the locations and memories that make you feel that way.